After not having coffee for a long while, I got up at 4am this morning (after working til 9pm at Fashion weekend) with the prospect of working until 9pm again tonight, and then all weekend, and really wanted a full strength coffee.

I got one.  A large soy flat white!  And it was good.  Made my mouth feel all yucky afterward, and I felt unclean…  But BOY OH BOY, did I get a massive buzz!!  I was super super tired, as you can imagine by Friday morning (after a week of getting up at 4am), I am normally pretty shattered.  So this morning I was particularly shattered and a little sad at the prospect of doing another 18 hr day. 

As soon as I had a few sips, I couldn’t believe the impact it had.  I used to drink coffee every day, only 1 or 2, but still it was an every day habit.

 It got me thinking about the habit itself and the addiction.  It was a very good feeling, I felt effective, quick, and productive (I am pumping out this blog post at the moment whilst “high”).  So I can understand how this “fix” has become such a huge part of our society.  It is quite simply an addictive stimulant.  But it is also a slippery slide into addiction.  Life is busy, its hectic, and there is simply not enough time in the day, so a little pick me up each day (or a few times a day) surely won’t hurt right?

I feel good now, but what about in 5-6 hours when I come down from this high, and feel tired and sluggish and exhausted again, will I just get another hit?  And then what about tomorrow morning, will it start like this again?  Will I just get another one? 

 I won’t.  But that is because I made an effort to break my habit a little while back.  The main reason is that I had an addiction (as do most people, they will just tell you they aren’t addicted, like most addicts do!).  If I didn’t have coffee, I felt shabby, tired, headachey, glum, and not 100%, that was because my 100% was not me, it was me PLUS coffee=100%.  I hated that I was dependent on something to help me feel better, I felt that was a sad way to live each day.  So I quit, and it was hard at first, but I am so much happier that I did.  I felt cleaner, lighter, better able to listen to my body to understand when I was tired, when I was sad, and also when I felt 100% without any “highs” to get me there.

 I know there are a lot of people out there that are addicted, much more so that I ever was too.  I am not entering into an argument about whether coffee is good or bad, because I am not taking sides, but I know that I am happier that I quit.