After not having coffee for a long while, I got up at 4am this morning (after working til 9pm at Fashion weekend) with the prospect of working until 9pm again tonight, and then all weekend, and really wanted a full strength coffee.
I got one. A large soy flat white! And it was good. Made my mouth feel all yucky afterward, and I felt unclean… But BOY OH BOY, did I get a massive buzz!! I was super super tired, as you can imagine by Friday morning (after a week of getting up at 4am), I am normally pretty shattered. So this morning I was particularly shattered and a little sad at the prospect of doing another 18 hr day.
As soon as I had a few sips, I couldn’t believe the impact it had. I used to drink coffee every day, only 1 or 2, but still it was an every day habit.
It got me thinking about the habit itself and the addiction. It was a very good feeling, I felt effective, quick, and productive (I am pumping out this blog post at the moment whilst “high”). So I can understand how this “fix” has become such a huge part of our society. It is quite simply an addictive stimulant. But it is also a slippery slide into addiction. Life is busy, its hectic, and there is simply not enough time in the day, so a little pick me up each day (or a few times a day) surely won’t hurt right?
I feel good now, but what about in 5-6 hours when I come down from this high, and feel tired and sluggish and exhausted again, will I just get another hit? And then what about tomorrow morning, will it start like this again? Will I just get another one?
I won’t. But that is because I made an effort to break my habit a little while back. The main reason is that I had an addiction (as do most people, they will just tell you they aren’t addicted, like most addicts do!). If I didn’t have coffee, I felt shabby, tired, headachey, glum, and not 100%, that was because my 100% was not me, it was me PLUS coffee=100%. I hated that I was dependent on something to help me feel better, I felt that was a sad way to live each day. So I quit, and it was hard at first, but I am so much happier that I did. I felt cleaner, lighter, better able to listen to my body to understand when I was tired, when I was sad, and also when I felt 100% without any “highs” to get me there.
I know there are a lot of people out there that are addicted, much more so that I ever was too. I am not entering into an argument about whether coffee is good or bad, because I am not taking sides, but I know that I am happier that I quit.